Burning Man or Burning Masks? Tucker Carlson suggests a COVID-era alternative for the long-lasting competition

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Tucker Carlson suggests changing Burning Man, which has been canceled attributable to COVID, with a competition devoted to burning masks on ‘Tucker Carlson Tonight.’ 

TUCKER CARLSON: The individuals who run the burning Man occasion out in Nevada simply introduced they won’t be gathering this yr, they’re too afraid of COVID. That’s clearly unhealthy information when you get pleasure from physique portray and interpretive dance on acid. Nevertheless it additionally means there’s a gap on this summer season’s roster of nude festivals. We see that as a chance. Why not exchange that with burning masks?

The nakedness gathering within the desert – 5 days of completely unimpeded respiration. No extra moist cotton clinging to your face, no extra struggling to fill your lungs. No extra obligatory suffocation. Simply deep, satisfying breaths. As many as you need. Unrestricted airflow in nature. Gulp it down! It’s allowed right here.

After which, on the ultimate evening, a pagan ceremony underneath the celebs: the burning of the masks. A ritual bonfire of PPE, liberation, a cleaning of the spirit – a phrase that, by the way in which, means breath. In a single blaze, COVID neurotics will flip the devices of their emotional oppression into warmth and lightweight and ash.

At ‘Burning Masks,’ America’s Pleasure Reid’s will emulate their fears and emerge as soon as once more considerably human – or a minimum of considerably much less uptight and annoying.

How is that not an awesome thought? Truly, now that we are saying it out loud, it doesn’t sound fully loopy. It’s actually much more sane than jogging by means of the park with two masks on.

WATCH TUCKER CARLSON’S FULL MONOLOGUE HERE



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